Silly Songs With Duo
by EveDallasRoarke
Summary: Duo sings silly songs with Larry the Cucumber (1x2)


Title: Silly Songs With Duo…  
  
Part One in the Veggie Tales Arc…  
  
Author: Duo Jei Farffarello Omi Maxwell Tsukiyono Takatori the Black Winged Shinigami  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. Pretty sad haw…I also don't own Veggie Tales, but them people are kewl too, just like the people of Gundam Wing (Sunrise and Bandi). I'm pretty sure that Veggie Tales is owned by Big Idea co. and I don't own Video Library, and also Disney (but I wouldn't want to own Disney!) nor do I own the Power Rangers…another one I wouldn't want to……Shounen Ai  
  
Warnings: Extreme silliness! Cross-Over…Kinda. And yes, this is a song fic in a way also… yeah, that helps a lot don't it?  
  
Parings: 1x2!!!!! Implied 3x4  
  
Rating: Veggie Tales is not rated. Gundam Wing is rated about 13and up, right? Which is really silly cause you know, Veggie Tales has some weird ideas that it should have some sort of rating…anyhoo…  
  
Notes: This is the reasons why people, who are obsessed with Gundam, shouldn't watch as much Veggie Tales in one weekend as my friend/sister/creator Jenai and I did…  
  
Feedback: Please! I'll don't bite. Hard.  
  
This is how it all got started:  
  
It was a Wednesday night at the local Video Library…  
  
Duo was looking around in the mounds of videos for something to rent. There was nothing to do and nothing to watch back at home, and the braided Gundam pilot was board. Cruising threw the isles waiting for something to catch his eyes; Duo passed threw the romance, the action, the horror, the sci-fi, the family, the video games, and the family sections before he noticed a sign.  
  
'Kids Videos; Free Rentals on Wednesday.'  
  
"Hey Lady?" Duo asked a random employee, who was walking by, "is this sign for real?"  
  
"Yes, we wouldn't put it out if it wasn't." The woman rolled her eyes and headed down the isle again, putting movies back in their proper places.  
  
Duo smiled to himself. "OK, what to get," he mumbled to no one in particular, because hey it was free, and why spend ninety-nine cents when something else was cheaper?  
  
As he hunted threw the kiddie flicks, he quickly went past Disney, because in Duo's mind, Disney sucked. He by-passed the Power Rangers, thinking that he was too mature for that now, that and he had already seen all the ones that they had. From the corner of his eyes a group of brightly covered boxes caught his attention.  
  
He looked at all the titles in the particular section, then he picked one with an interesting title.  
  
"Looks like fun," he mumbled, taking the empty case to the front counter.  
  
Compiling with the rules, he gave the woman Quatre's phone number, and then happily he was out the door and on his way back home not knowing what fun was in store…and that's how this all got started.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
No one was in the living room when Duo got home so he put in the tape labeled 'Veggie Tales: Very Silly Songs' in the VCR and plopped down on the couch. Settling down on the couch, slightly sadden that Heero wasn't around to play pillow for him. Within two minutes, Duo was hooked. Who knew that vegetables singing about God could be so cool?  
  
He had only picked up Veggie Tales to begin with because he was curious about vegetables that sang songs. Duo wasn't really sure if even liked vegetables to eat, but now he was convinced.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Duo, are you home?" Quatre called out from the kitchen.  
  
"Yeah, I'm in the living room!" he yelled out.  
  
"Its time to eat!"  
  
Duo jumped up from the couch where he had been sitting for the last two hours, watching and re-watching Veggie Tales.  
  
"If you like to talk to tomatoes," he sang as he walked the short distance from the couch to the table, "if a squash can make you smile." He happily sat down in his place as he chanted more of the song. "If you like to waltz with potatoes up and down the produce isle."  
  
The fellow Gundam pilots were walking into the room, heading to the normal seating arrangements, and staring at Duo as he sang out, he didn't even acknowledged there presence.  
  
"Then have we got a show for you."  
  
All eyes were locked at the braided pilot.  
  
"Veggie Tales, Veggie Tales, Veggie Tales, Veggie Tales, Veggie Tales, Veggie Tales, Veggie Tales, Vegg-ie Tales."  
  
"Um, Duo," Heero started.  
  
"Broccoli, celery, got to be Veggie Tales! Lima beans, collard greens, peachy keen, Veggie Tales! Cauliflower, sweet and sour, half an hour, Veggie Tales! There's never ever ever ever ever been a show like Veggie Tales! There's never ever ever ever ever been a show like Veggie Tales! Its time for Veggie Ta-l-es…al-els!"  
  
"What the hell are you singing Maxwell?" Wufei asked, a bemused look on his face.  
  
"Veggie Tales! I rented it today."  
  
"Why?" Wufei asked again.  
  
"Cause it looked like fun, and it was free."  
  
"I can see why," Wufei muttered under his breath. Trowa caught it though, and smiled to himself.  
  
"We should all watch it after dinner!"  
  
"Um, Trowa and I are going out," Quatre spoke up. Trowa just nodded.  
  
"Wu?" Duo asked. "Wanna watch it?"  
  
"No way in hell."  
  
"Fine then." Duo turned to Heero, with a sweet smile on his face; "I don't even have to ask, Do I?"  
  
Heero sighed.  
  
"It'll be fun Hee-chan, I promise."  
  
"And if it isn't?"  
  
"You'll watch it and you'll like it. Got it?"  
  
Heero sighed once again. Once Duo was determined, he wouldn't give up, but a kids show about vegetables? He'd just sit down and pretend to like it so he didn't have to spend another night on the damn couch. Who would of thought that Duo would have been so sensitive about the fact that he didn't like Velcro shoes?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
So after dinner, Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre fled from sight, leaving Duo and Heero alone.  
  
Duo skipped over to the couch and grabbed the remote from the coffee table, then propped his legs up and pushed play. The tape was already in the VCR. Heero sat down, letting Duo settle down on him.  
  
From the blackness of empty film scenes, soon came swirling bright colors and happy songs to go along with them. Duo smiled brightly, even threw the preview.  
  
Not even five minutes in, Heero was tired of the dancing salad products and started playing with then end of Duo's braid. By the time ten minutes rolled around, Heero was kissing Duo's neck.  
  
"Hee-chan stop it, I can't concentrate when you do that!"  
  
"Duo-"  
  
Duo turned to face Heero. "What?"  
  
"Can we please do something else?"  
  
"No! I want to watch Veggie Tales!"  
  
With that Duo was off him and the couch and up to the VCR, ejecting the tape from the player. "Fine, I'll watch it in my room."  
  
"Our room," Heero stated, as Duo trudged up the stairs. "I'm sleeping on the couch tonight aren't I?"  
  
Nothing answered him.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The next day, Heero woke up to the early morning light that streamed threw the huge living room window. It was only about five forty-five in the morning.  
  
"Why am I on the couch?" the asked himself with a groan, when flashback of yesterday came to haunt his vision. "Right. Veggie Tales." He sighed, then headed up the stairs, hoping to catch at least another hour of sleep in an actual bed.  
  
Taped to the door in Duo's messy scrawl was a note;  
  
Don't you dare enter Heero, not unless you'll sit and WATCH Veggie Tales with me. Love Duo.  
  
Heero sighed once again and entered the room.  
  
Duo was fast asleep; Veggie Tales was still running on the television. Repeat play, it's a handy little thing.  
  
Heero plopped down on the bed, closed his eyes and fell asleep, but not before noting that Duo snuggled up to him.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Everybody's got a water buffalo, Yours is fast but mine is slow," Duo sang from one corner of the room. On the other side Heero sat with a glare, typing away on his laptop.  
  
"Oh, where'd we get them I don't know, but everybody's got a water buffalo- ooooooo."  
  
"Duo, would you shut up."  
  
Duo, choosing to ignore the Wing pilot kept right on singing, never missing a beat. "I took my buffalo to the store, got his head stuck in the door. Spilled some lima beans on the floor. Oh everybody's got a…"  
  
Duo stopped looking sweetly at Heero who landed on the bed right next to him, glare firmly in place.  
  
"Stop it! Stop! Stop right this instant. What do you think your doing?"  
  
"Duo it's my bed too."  
  
"You can't say everyone's got a water buffalo when everyone does not have a water buffalo! Were going to get nasty letters saying 'Where's my water buffalo?' 'Why don't I have a water buffalo?' and are you ready to deal with that? I don't think so! Just stop being so silly."  
  
Heero groaned, falling back onto the bed.  
  
"This has been silly songs with Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry sing… Everybody's got a baby kangaroo, yours is pink but mine is blue. Hers was small but…"  
  
It was at that moment that Heero pushed Duo off the bed.  
  
Duo popped back up, "Good timing Hee-chan! You pushed my off right when the asparagus runs over Larry."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Three days later, the tape was returned to the wonderful and sometimes hostile people of Video Library. Not that it matted, Wednesday was only a few more days to go and Duo had the tape memorized inside and out.  
  
Four very annoyed pilots were extremely fed up of the constant salad songs that came out of Duo's mouth no stop.  
  
"Please send me a mission, I'll kill anyone," Quatre mumbled while making lunch. Duo was in the living room screaming out some song, Quatre didn't know which one.  
  
Heero walked into the living room and sat down on the couch next to Duo.  
  
As much as he hated the silly songs with Larry re-enactment that Duo gave them all for free each and every day, he did find one he liked.  
  
"Lips," Heero said, happy to let Duo climb into his lap. Duo stopped singing the 'bunny song,' and smiled at him.  
  
"If my lips ever left my mouth, packed a bag and headed south, that'd be too bad, I'd be so sad."  
  
"Me too," Heero said softly, Duo sighed.  
  
"I see. That'd be too bad, you'd be so sad? That'd be to bad."  
  
Heero nodded, running his fingers threw Duo's soft hair.  
  
"If my lips said adios, I don't like you I think your gross, that'd be to bad, I might get mad."  
  
Heero kissed his neck, then mumbled in his ear, "that would never happen."  
  
"Oh Dear! That'd be too bad, you might get mad? That'd be too bad." Duo paused long enough in his song to give Heero a quick kiss on the cheek before moving on, "If my lips moved to Duluth, left a mess and took my tooth, that'd be too bad. I'd call my Dad. That'd be too bad you'd call your Dad? That'd be too bad."  
  
"Tooth," Heero said giving Duo's right shoulder a small bite, causing Duo do squeak.  
  
"Hold it. Did you say your father? Fascinating! So what your saying is that if you lips left you…That'd be so sad, I'd might get mad, I'd call my Dad. That'd be too bad. That's be too bad? That'd be too bad. Why? Because I love my lips." It's at this point during the song that Larry goes in to spastic bibidy bop bops and such, and Duo was no exception. When he was finished, Heero just had to add, "Pretty good with your tongue?"  
  
Duo smiled, "Oh, my…This is more serious than I thought. Larry, tell me, what do you see here? Um, that looks like a lip. What about this? It's a lip. And this? It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip, lip, lip. It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip, lip, lip. It's a lip, it's a lip, it's a lip, lip, lip. Liiiiiiiiiiiips. Lip lip lip."  
  
Heero took it as a sign and gave Duo a long kiss. "Cherry lollipop?"  
  
Duo nodded, "Larry, tell me about your childhood. When I was just two years old I left my lips out in the cold and they turned blue. What could I do? Oh, dear! They turned blue, what could you do? Oh, they turned blue. I see."  
  
"Blue, that would look interesting."  
  
"On the day I got my tooth. I had to kiss my Great Aunt Ruth. She had a beard…and it felt weird."  
  
"Kinda like Hilde's?" Heero asked.  
  
Duo slugged him, but giggled anyway.  
  
"My, my. She had a beard and it felt weird? She had a beard. Oh! Ten days after I turned eight, got my lips stuck in a gate. My friends all laughed. And I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crow bar and I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar who got stung by a bee-right on the lip-and we couldn't even talk to each other until the fifth week because both of our lips were so swollen, and when he did start speaking he just spoke Polish and I only knew like three words in Polish except now I know four because Oscar taught me the word for lip: Usta!"  
  
"Wow, practiced hard on that one?"  
  
Duo nodded. "Your friends all laughed…Usta? How do you spell that? I don't know. So what you saying is that when you were young…They turned blue, what could I do. She had a beard and it felt weird. My friends all laughed…Usta!"  
  
"Usta," Heero repeated, giving Duo a small kiss.  
  
"I'm confused…I love my lips."  
  
Before Duo could go into a bibidy bop bops Heero kissed him long and hard, breaking away he softly whispered, "I love your lips."  
  
"Larry…Larry…This has been silly songs with Larry. Tune in next time to hear Larry say…Have I ever told you how I feel about my nose? Oh, look at the time!"  
  
Quatre sighed, heading into the living room to tell Heero and Duo that lunch was ready.  
  
"Duo, have I ever told you have much I love you ass?"  
  
"Maybe I should come back later," Quatre said, heading back into the kitchen.  
  
Duo giggled as he and Heero fell off the couch.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I know another language," Duo stated at the breakfast table the next morning. The remaining Gundam Pilots looked at him like he sprouted a third eye. Hoping against hope that this new 'language' wasn't some Veggie Tales babble.  
  
"Hee-chan always babbles in Japanese and Q in Arabian, and Wu in Chinese and well I only knew English until now."  
  
"…"  
  
"Spanish!"  
  
Duo put on a million-watt smile, "Miren al pepino."  
  
"Watch the cucumber?" Quatre asked, for he was actually fluent in many different languages.  
  
"Vean como se mueve. See how he moves."  
  
"Damn, Veggie Tales," Wufei said with a grumble, he rose to get up but Duo took out a gun from his pants pocket. "Duo."  
  
"Come un leon. Like a lion. Tras un raton. Chasing a mouse."  
  
Wufei sat back down as Duo pulled the hammer back, a small smile on his face.  
  
"Miren al pepino. Watch the cucumber."  
  
"Is this some sort of turn on?" Wufei mumbled to Heero, who's only reply was to glare.  
  
"Que suaves movimientos. Oh, how smooth his motion. Es como mantequilla. Like butter. En un chango pelon. On a…bald monkey."  
  
Quatre actually cracked a smile; the three looked on in disgust. "What? That was funny."  
  
"Miren al pepino. Watch the cucumber. Los vegetales. All the vegetables. Envidian a su amigo. Envy their friend."  
  
"I envy every luck basterd that doesn't have to sit threw this," Wufei muttered.  
  
"He's still my boyfriend," Heero muttered, "so shut up."  
  
"Como el quieren bailar. Wishing to dance as he. Pepino bailarin, pepino bailarin, pepino bailarin. Dancing cucumber, dancing cucumber, dancing cucumber. !Baila, baila, ya! Dance, dance, yeah!"  
  
Wufei stood again, and Duo actually shot the gun. He was pointing to the open window, so nothing inside broke, but a loud squeal was sounded by what sounded like a large squirrel, and a thunk when it landed on the ground.  
  
"Duo, I think you just killed something," Quatre said.  
  
The remaining pilots' eyes grew wide.  
  
"Miren al tomate. Look at the tomato."  
  
Wufei sat back down, not wanting Duo to shoot the gun off again, not knowing if the braided pilot might miss again.  
  
"?No es triste? Isn't it sad? El no puede bailar. He can't dance. !Probre tomate! Poor tomato!"  
  
"Poor us."  
  
"El desearia bailar como el pepino. He wishes he could dance like the cucumber. Libre y suavemente. Free and smooth."  
  
Wufei rolled his eyes, thinking, 'when will this song end?'  
  
"Pero el no puede danzar. But he can't…Okay! Stop the music! What do ya mean I cant dance? I can dance! What about Uncle Louie's polka party? Didn't you see me dancing at Uncle Louie's polka party? No comprendo. No comperendo? I'll show you 'no comperendo.' Mom! Dad! Look over here! Get a picture of me next to the cucumber dressed in authentic Argentinean garb! Okay, Junior. But we'd better hurry- I think the dwarves have your mother confused with someone else! Say 'peas!' Peas!"  
  
Quatre's eyes were starting to get heavy and he leaned his head against Trowa.  
  
"Escuchen al pepino. Listen to the cucumber. Oigan su voz fuerte. Here his strong voice. Como un leon. Like a lion. Listo a devorar. About to eat."  
  
Trowa actually smiled at the thought of the lion.  
  
"Escuchen al pepino. Listen to the cucumber. Que dulce es su canto. How sweet his voice."  
  
"Unlike Maxwell," Wufei muttered.  
  
Heero glared at him, again.  
  
"Que sopla su garganta, parece un trinar. The breath from his throat is like a chorus of little birdies. Escuchen al pepino. Listen to the cucumber. Los vegetales. All the vegetables. Envidian a su amigo. Envy their friend. Como el quieren cantar. Wishing to sing as he."  
  
"Will this ever be over?" Wufei asked.  
  
"Pepino cantador, pepino cantador, pepino cantador. Singing cucumber, singing cucumber, singing cucumber. !Canta, canta ya! Sing, sing, yeah!"  
  
"Why is the cucumber singing in Spanish?" Trowa asked.  
  
"Escuchen al tomate. Listen to the tomato. ?No es triste? Isn't it sad? El no puede cantar. He can't sing. Pobre tomate. Poor tomato. El desearia poder cantar. He wishes he could sing."  
  
"I wish he could sing," Wufei mumbled, and moments later he found himself on the floor, courtesy of one Heero Yuy.  
  
"Fuerte y dulce como el pepino. Strong and sweet like the cucumber. Pero el no puede… But he can't… !Ni siquiera dar un silbido! Can't even… whistle! All right! That's it Senor! Come over here and let me sing YOU a song! !Adios, amigos! This has been silly songs with Larry. Tune in next time to here Larry sing… Bob is really angry! Hope he doesn't catch me! It's so hard to run with this sombrero on my head!" Duo smiled at his hostile audience. "I'm done."  
  
The table clear in second, and Duo found himself alone in the kitchen.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"That's it! We need to find some way to end the damn vegetables sing along!" Wufei cried out. "Yuy, fix this?"  
  
"I've tried. Don't you think I've tried?"  
  
"I have an idea," Quatre said, a small gleam in his eyes.  
  
The four huddled as Quatre told everyone of his idea.  
  
"That might just work," Trowa said.  
  
"And if it doesn't," Heero asked.  
  
"We kill him," Wufei said. Heero decked him.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I won't eat this," Duo said to the people of the dinner table that night. Quatre looked at him funny.  
  
"And why not? It's Chef's salad. You love Chef's salad," Quatre said.  
  
"You chopped up Larry."  
  
"Duo," Heero treated, wondering how to shove salad down Duo's throat.  
  
"Larry didn't do anything," Duo pointed out, "of course he doesn't do anything, cause he's one of the pirates who don't do anything."  
  
"Who doesn't do anything," Trowa corrected.  
  
"We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay at home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, well just tell you…we don't do anything!"  
  
"Well he speaks the truth at least," Wufei mumbled.  
  
Heero glared.  
  
"Well, I've never been to Greenland and I've never been to Denver, and I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul, and I've never been to Moscow, and I've never been to Tampa, and I've never been to Boston in the fall."  
  
"Duo, we've been to Moscow. Remember that one mission?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Quatre…Veggie Tales," Trowa said.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay at home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you…We don't do anything!"  
  
Wufei really wanted to leave, but he didn't know what projectile would come flying at him if he didn't just sit.  
  
"And I never host the mainstay, and I never swab the poop deck, and I never veer to starboard 'cuz I've never sail at all, and I've never walked the gangplank, and I've never owned a parrot, And I've never been to Boston in the fall."  
  
'How long is this song?' Heero wondered.  
  
"'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. We just stay at home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you…We don't do anything! We'll, I've never plucked a rooster, and I'm not too good at Ping- Pong, and I've never thrown my mash potatoes up against the wall, and I've never kissed a chipmunk, and I've never gotten head lice, and I've never been to Boston in the fall!"  
  
'Nani? What kind of song is this?'  
  
'What a silly song.'  
  
'Help me.'  
  
'…'  
  
"Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate? Hey, that's right! Were supposed to sing about pirate-y things! Oh… And who ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?"  
  
"I think I'm heading to Duluth to end this nightmare," Wufei grumbled.  
  
"I think you look like Cap'n Crunch!" Duo went on, oblivious to Wufei's comment, "Huh? No I don't. Do too. Do not! You're making me hungry. That's it, your walkin' the plank! Says who? Says the captain, that's who! Oh, yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch! He he he! Arg! Yikes!"  
  
Trowa got up to leave but was greeted with a death glare Yuy would be proud of, and sat right back down.  
  
"I was getting the milk."  
  
"And I've never licked a spark plug and I've never sniffed stinkbug, and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball, and I've never bathed in yogurt, and I don't look good in leggings… You just don't get it! And we've never been to Boston in the fall!"  
  
"Can we eat now?"  
  
"Pass the chips! Who's got the remote control? Here it is! Time for Geraldo! It's definitely time for Wapner. Oh I don't like this show…"  
  
Duo was silent for a moment, as the fellow pilots looked on.  
  
"Now I'm done."  
  
And dinner proceeded as normal.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was later that night when four of the five pilots met up in the front yard.  
  
"Is he sleeping Yuy?" Wufei asked.  
  
Heero nodded.  
  
"Good, the operation Slice and Dice is underway," Trowa said.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The next morning in the shower Duo was all excited today was Wednesday. That means a new Veggie Tales tape to enjoy for a week, and to drive the fellow pilot's nuts with.  
  
Duo stepped out of the shower slightly confused. "Where are my pants?" he mumbled out loud. "Our curtain opens as Larry, having just finished his morning bath, is searching for his hairbrush. Having no success, Larry cries out…Oh where is my hairbrush? Oh where is my hairbrush? Oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, Oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where… is my hair brush?"  
  
Outside the bathroom, Quatre was growing impatient. Duo had finished his shower a few minutes ago, but he still gotten out.  
  
'What's talking him so long?' Quatre thought.  
  
"Having heard his cry, Pa Grape enters the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel, Pa regains his composure and reports…I think I saw a hairbrush over there!"  
  
Wufei walks pass Quatre on his way downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm waiting to use the bathroom."  
  
"And the one downstairs?"  
  
"Broken."  
  
"We'll barge in then."  
  
Quatre shook his head.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Well, the last time I barged in I interrupted Heero and him—"  
  
Wufei shook his hands in disgust, "Say no more, I don't want to know."  
  
"Back there is my hairbrush. Back there is my hairbrush. Back there, back there, oh where, back there, oh where, oh where, back there, back there, back there…is my hairbrush?"  
  
Now Quatre could here Duo's singing.  
  
"Duo! Fine, I'll go find you stupid hairbrush! Then will you let me in?"  
  
"Having heard his joyous proclamation, Junior Asparagus enters the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel, Junior regains his composure and comments… Why do you need a hairbrush you don't have any hair! Larry is taken aback. The thought had never occurred to him. No hair? What would this mean? What would become him? What would become of his hairbrush? Larry wonders…"  
  
Quatre knocked on the door to Heero and Duo's room.  
  
"What?" Heero called out.  
  
"It's Quatre, can I come in?"  
  
"Hai."  
  
Quatre opens the door, instantly scanning the room.  
  
"What are you looking for?"  
  
"Have you seen Duo's hairbrush?"  
  
"Uh, the last time I saw it was last night. I was brushing it out and one thing kinda led to another and—"  
  
"Never mind. Maybe I have an extra one."  
  
"No hair for my hairbrush. No hair for my hairbrush. No hair, no hair, nowhere, no hair, no hair, no hair, nowhere, back there, no hair…for my hairbrush. Having heard his wonderings, Bob the tomato enters the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry in a towel, Bob regains his composure and confesses…"  
  
"Quatre, what are you doing?" Trowa asked as he walked into their bedroom.  
  
"Looking for a hairbrush."  
  
"…"  
  
"Larry, that old hairbrush of yours…well, you never use it, you don't really need it. So, well, I'm sorry… I didn't know. But I gave it to the Peach—'cause he's got hair! Felling a deep sense of loss, Larry stumbles back and laments… Not fair! Oh, my hairbrush. Not fair! My poor hairbrush. Not fair, not fair, no hair, not fair, no hair, nowhere, not fair, not fair, not fair! My little hairbrush!"  
  
Quatre was once again standing at the door to the bathroom, "Plu-le-ess Duo! Let me in! I got to go-o!"  
  
"Having heard his lament, the peach enters the scene. Himself in a towel, both Larry and the Peach are shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of each other. But recognizing Larry's generosity, the Peach is thankful…Thanks for the hairbrush. Yes, good has been done here. The Peach exits the scene. Larry smiles, but still feeling an emotional attachment for the hairbrush, calls out…"  
  
Heero walked by the bathroom where Quatre was sitting on the floor, a sad twisted look on his face.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"I really have to go to the bathroom, and your stupid boyfriend is hogging it."  
  
Heero shook his head, then opened the bathroom door. Duo fully dressed in black jeans and a black tee shirt was sitting on the sink, braiding the last of his hair. Heero grabs him by the arm and out the door. A second later, Quatre runs in.  
  
Duo, smiling, finishes the rest of his song, while being dragged down the stairs to eat breakfast, "Take care of my hairbrush. Take care, oh my hairbrush. Take care, take care, don't dare not care. Take care. Nice hair. No fair. Take care, take care…of my hairbrush. The end!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
After breakfast, Duo took off to Video Library. Once he arrived he went strait to the children's section, happily sinning his favorite song, The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. Scanning the selection he became worried after he couldn't find Veggie Tales.  
  
"Das sucks."  
  
He went up and down every isle and checked and re-checked every movie they had in the place, but still couldn't find any Veggie Tales on the shelf.  
  
Finally he gave up, and went and asked one of the sales clerks.  
  
"Um, I'm looking for Veggie Tales."  
  
"Veggie Tales? Oh, that show about the religious produce. Yeah. Some one came in yesterday and rented every tape we had."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah sorry. Their five day rentals, so you can try back then."  
  
Duo nodded sadly then walked out the door.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Duo walked back into the house much later that night. The fellow pilots had gotten worried when Duo hadn't show up for dinner and had been sitting in the living room waiting for him.  
  
"Duo, where were you?" Heero asked, steering Duo towards the couch.  
  
"Not fair."  
  
"What?"  
  
Duo crossed his arms. "You guys don't care anyhow."  
  
"We care," Quatre said. "Really we do."  
  
"I went everywhere. To every store, every movie rental place. No Veggie Tales."  
  
Wufei smiled lightly, and Duo slumped off the couch.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Three days went by, and Duo hardly said a word. He moped around most of the time singing sadly the random songs he knew.  
  
The fellow pilots were getting pretty fed up with the whole thing.  
  
Duo sad looks, his longing sighs, the way his lips would quiver when they ate any form of vegetable or fruit (because Larry, Bob, and such are actually fruits…). Even Wufei was starting to miss the happy, hyper, Deathscythe pilot's previous behavior.  
  
"That's it, we have to do something," Heero said. "If he gets sent off to do a mission in his current state, he's going to die."  
  
Trowa nodded, "we had no idea he would react like this."  
  
"Hell, I even miss his constant jabbering," Wufei threw in.  
  
"Dealing with those tapes isn't nearly as bad as his sad little looks. I feel so guilty," Quatre cried out.  
  
"Well, Quatre, we are guilty."  
  
They sat in science.  
  
"I guess we should return those tapes."  
  
Quatre's eyes grew wide, "I've got a great idea."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Just keep your eyes closed," Heero said, leading Duo out into the living room. He sat Duo down on the couch.  
  
A few moments later Heero finally said, "Ok, you can open your eyes."  
  
Duo looked on in shock. The front of the living room where the TV should be was now missing, and in its place a makeshift stage, with bed sheets for curtain.  
  
Suddenly Trowa's voice coming threw Quatre's Karaoke system. "And now its time for Silly Songs with Heero. The part of our lives where Heero comes out and sings a silly song. Joining him to day are Quatre and Wufei, who together make up the infamous gang of rebels, The Pilots Who Don't Do Anything."  
  
The curtain opens up and Heero, Quatre, and Wufei are sitting in chairs.  
  
"We are the Pilots Who Don't Do Anything. We just stay at home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you…"  
  
"We don't do anything," Heero finished.  
  
"We'll I've never piloted a Gundam, and I've never shot a gun off," Quatre sang. "And I've never lost my mind to Zero, that's not me at all. And I've never been to space, and I've never been to Sank. And I've never been to battle in the fall."  
  
" 'Cuz We are the Pilots Who Don't Do Anything. We just stay at home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you…We don't do anything"'  
  
"And I've never worshipped Nataku, and I've never bought weapons and I've never blown up Leos, or any mobile dolls. And I've never been imprisoned, and I've never used a dragon claw, and I've never been to battle in the fall," Wufei grumbled.  
  
" 'Cuz We are the Pilots Who Don't Do Anything. We just stay at home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you…We don't do anything"  
  
Heero sighed then started, "Well I've never picked a daisy and I've never killed a puppy and I've never loved a teddy bear, no not me at all. And I've never had a stalker and I'm not too good at fencing, and I've never been to battle in the fall."  
  
"Hah? What are you talking about? What's a daisy or a puppy have to do with being a pilot?" Quatre asked.  
  
"That's right," Wufei said in almost complete monotone, "We're suppose to be singing about Pilot-ly things."  
  
"Oh," Heero said.  
  
"And who's ever had a stalker. That's just unusual. Why ever bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?" Quatre sang, about the only one who was actually enjoying doing this.  
  
"I think you look like a nut," Wufei said.  
  
"Hah? No I don't."  
  
"Do too."  
  
"Do not!"  
  
"You're making me hungry."  
  
"That's it! You're getting pushed off a cliff!"  
  
"Says who?"  
  
"Says the leader, that's who!"  
  
"Oh, yeah? Aye, Aye, Leader of the Nuts!"  
  
"Agh!"  
  
"Yikes."  
  
Duo was almost off the couch with laughter, and tears were streaming down his face.  
  
"And I've never fenced a geek and I've never worn spandex, and I've never been to a party for the queen bitch of the world. And I've never stole an ambulance, or fallen out of a building…"  
  
"You just don't get it," Wufei grumbled.  
  
"And we've never been to battle in the fall!"  
  
"This has been Silly Songs with Heero. Tune in next time to hear Heero say…" Trowa finished.  
  
Heero walked over to Duo, whispered in his ear, and then handed him a small gift.  
  
Unwrapping it quickly, Duo smiled brightly and held the tape up for everyone to see, "Look The End of Silliness! Will you guys watch it with me?"  
  
The room cleared out before Duo could blink.  
  
  
  
…this has been Silly Songs with Duo tune in next time to hear the author's new fic…  
  
"Heero? Quatre? Trowa? Wufei? Guys?" 


End file.
